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Psychic Cat

MGM had the lion; Movie Waffle has Tinker. No animal could better embody the core values of each company. MGM’s lion said: strength, power, indomitable mastery. Movie Waffle’s cat says: sleep, food, movies. Like her owner, Tinker is more inclined to savour life than to shoulder burdens. When Archbishop Desmond Tutu said, “In heaven, we will be held to account for the permissible pleasures we did not enjoy”, Tinker followed his advice. Like most cats, she naps heroically. She’s a glutton, who loves yogurt, and frequently steals from humans. No shoelace is safe from her paws. No cupboard drawer escapes scrutiny. This year, Tinker is going to help Movie Waffle predict an Oscar winner from the Best Picture nominees.

Since Tinker agrees that ten nominations for Best Picture is insane, and a shameless sop to populism, it has been decided that she will make her pick from the five nominees that actually have a prayer of winning, as opposed to the five nominees who are only on the shortlist to make up the numbers. For instance, Tinker knows that Winter’s Bone was a good movie, but obviously, like any sensible cat, she’s not going to bet the farm on an indie drama set in the Ozarks. Similarly, Tinker knows 127 Hours is as doomed as a one-armed man in a handclapping contest. So instead, Tinker has narrowed her options to five. Some may quibble with her judgement. Some may even say she’s been bought. Only you can decide if she’s psychic.

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