There are ways of dying that shouldn’t exist anymore; like being shot with an arrow, or run over by a medieval siege tower. Being eaten by wild animals is right near the top of that list. I can never quite imagine how you break the news, when “Chet” (hypothetical web designer and Apple enthusiast) gets gobbled up mid-Tweet: Lotta growling round here LOL… And the next thing: Chet’s lunch. Death should keep pace with the times. You shouldn’t be able to buy an iPad in the same era when you can be eaten by wolves. Unfortunately, the majority of scary beasts don’t own a calendar. Whether it’s 2012 or the Bronze Age; to a wolf, we’re still man chow. We always have been. It’s only iPhones the wild animals can’t stomach.
Everyone wants revenge. We’re savages. Two thousand years of Christianity hasn’t dulled the revenge instinct in the slightest. If we’re wronged, we want the wrong doer to suffer. If our children are wronged, we want carnage. In movies (lucky us) we get to act out these revenge fantasies vicariously. Even High Noon is basically saying: they wronged you, now it’s right for you to kill ’em. Through the Seventies and Eighties these movie revenge fantasies might have got more violent, but that only meant more blood; it didn’t alter our desire. In Taken, Liam Neeson kills half of Paris on our behalf. What was the bad-guys’ crime? Kidnap.